Caring for adult brothers after parents have passed away. advice please!

[LittleChef]

Hello. I haven’t used a forum before so bear with me!

So at the age of 30 I have lost both my parents in traumatic circumstances and am now caring for my two older brothers who are vunerable adults. both are in their 40’s. One had been diagnosed with autism as a child and the other has no diagnosis but is struggling mentally and practically. They both live in my parents old house which is wholly unsuitable accommodation (and needs to be sold) and I want them to be safe and happy as they have been off the radar and not receiving any support other than my autistic brother receiving benefits. Neither of them had a social worker which I have now remedied but has taken many months with no progress. My mental health is suffering with the responsibility of handing the estate of my parents and trying to do right by my brothers. there was no trust fund set up. not even a Will. it wasn’t ever discussed, and I had no idea how complicated this was to be. there is money available from the estate and have considered a family lawyer. Although currently on very low incomes, my brothers are due to inherit of a fair bit of money which may effect what support they can receive, but I don’t know how this will affect it. I would really like advice on the options for my brothers. I know these things take time but my brothers want a better life and we all need to move on so we able to grieve for our parents, also I feel uncomfortable using such a stretched system and have had no progress in the year since my parents passed away.
sorry this is a very long post but i can’t think how to explain it clearer and am desperate for advice, please help

[sianwhite]

Hi @LittleChef,

Thanks for posting on FamilyHub, you’ve come to the right place to find the support you need.

Katherine Miller, who is a solicitor at Renaissance Legal, is currently running an Ask the Expert thread here on FamilyHub and she might be able to help with some elements you mention in your post. Simply post your question on the thread here.

I hope that helps, all the best to you and your brother.
Sian

[margaret.gould]

Hi Little Chef,

I’m so sorry to hear that things have been so difficult for you and your brothers since your parents died. It sounds like you have done a lot for your brothers already but I appreciate it hasn’t been easy.

I’m one of the Mencap information and advice officers and we do hear from families in similar situations. There are quite a few things to consider, but I’ll keep it brief here. You can get lots more advice and information by calling our learning disability helpline on 0808 808 1111.

1. Have your brothers had a needs assessment with adult social services?
   This is a way to find out exactly what support they might need and whether they are eligible for support from the local authority. It’s the first step towards moving on to become more independent and to think about where they could live to best meet their needs. Some people have a floating support arrangement of a few hours a week to help with budgeting, bills, and shopping and cooking, others have help every day, depending on their individual circumstances. Anyone who may be in need is entitled to an assessment. They don’t need to have a formal diagnosis, it is an assessment of support needs on a day to day basis. If your brothers aren’t eligible for support the LA still has a duty to signpost them to other organisations who may be able to help.
   It’s part of the Care Act, more info is here: https://www.mencap.org.uk/advice-and-support/social-care/assessments-and-eligibility
2. What are your brothers choices of where to live?
   Options include supported living, shared lives schemes, or even home ownership in some cases.
   There is more information here: https://www.mencap.org.uk/advice-and-support/housing/housing-faqs
3. Are your brothers entitled to any benefits?
   Your local Citizen’s Advice Bureau will have specialist benefit advisers who will be able to help with any claims and also carry out a ‘better off’ calculation to check that your brothers are getting everything they are entitled to.
   You can find your local CAB in the bottom right hand corner of this link: https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/about-us/how-we-provide-advice/advice/
   There is also a useful benefits calculator on the Turn2Us website: https://www.turn2us.org.uk/
4. What about managing any inheritance?
   The Mental Capacity Act sets out ways in which people can obtain legal authority to make decisions on behalf of someone who may lack capacity. These are:
   Lasting Power of Attorney (LPA) - if your brothers each have the mental capacity to request that you (or someone else) act on their behalf. There are two types, one for property and finance and one for health and welfare. A finance LPA can make decisions whether the person lacks capacity or if they don’t as long as this is itemised in the LPA application.
   There is information on LPA on this link: https://www.gov.uk/power-of-attorney/overview
   The application must be registered and there is a registration fee for each type. You don’t need a solicitor to apply and it will cost more if you do have one. The person who appoints the LPA is the donor (your brother). They can appoint more than one LPA and they can act jointly or severally - you can specify certain LPA’s for certain responsibilities in the application. Some people include family members and a professional to ensure a balance of views is in place.
   Deputyship - if your brothers do not have the mental capacity to request someone to act on their behalf you could apply to the Court of Protection to become their deputy for finance.
   Information about deputyship is on this link: https://www.gov.uk/become-deputy
   LPA’s and deputies have a duty to follow the Mental Capacity Act. There is more information here: https://www.mencap.org.uk/advice-and-support/mental-capacity-act
5. You can contact the Mencap wills and trusts team for more details about setting up a discretionary trust for your brothers if this is something you’d like to consider for the future. They also hold a list of recommended solicitors.
   Here is the link: https://www.mencap.org.uk/willsandtrusts
6. Of course it’s really important that each of your brothers is at the heart of any decision making and planning. If you would like some help to start a conversation with each of them about their choices for the future you may find this link useful: http://helensandersonassociates.co.uk/person-centred-practice/person-centred-thinking-tools/
   It has lots of practical advice and steps.

I hope that gives you some starting points. I know you have a lot to deal with so do consider calling us for more detailed and 1-1 advice.

Best wishes,
Margaret